wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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