school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
