I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
