Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
