They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
