just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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