I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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