Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
