i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
