those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
