Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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