You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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