is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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