It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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