I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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