if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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