The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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