Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
