sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
