That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
