i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
