And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
