Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
