i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She told me I should be a condom model.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
