Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the condom got lost in my hair
where does the pee come out of this thing
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
