ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
