I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Enjoy the penises
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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