Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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