I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
