I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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