I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
