reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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