I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
