Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
