my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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