no, he came in my armpit
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize