I must be too annoying 4 u.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
