This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
