I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
