is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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