butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
