I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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