So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
