oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
