Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
last night I used snow as a chaser
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize