dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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