I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
