Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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