if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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