therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I feel great
I just peed on a car
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
