She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
