oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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