they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
