That's when you crack a 10am beer
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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