my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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