Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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