I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
