omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize