My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
