I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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