Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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