i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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