I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
