Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
