no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
