I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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