Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
