ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
